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Tuesday, Nov. 05, 2002
So, this is about what our baby looks like right now. Pretty cool, huh? Pete will look at the pictures now. At first, when it looked more like a shrimp than a human, he kept saying "Our baby doesn't look like that", and refused to look at them until it more closely resembled a baby. It's just amazing how quickly it changes. Apparently, all the critical development has been done at this point, and it just pretty much concentrates on growing bigger and stronger to survive out of the womb from now on. Crazy, huh? I decided to use my paper diary (you know, the one I wasn't writing in) to start letters to the baby. After hearing the heartbeat yesterday, everything became so REAL - and I wanted to tell him or her that I am so excited for their arrival! At one point I wrote "your father and I..." and it made me giggle. It's funny to call Pete "your father". But he's gonna be so good at it. He's always been really great with his nieces and nephews. He's so gentle and kind - I think kids pick up on that right away and are drawn to people like that. I remember as a child I couldn't get enough of this one uncle of mine. And nobody really knew what my draw was to him. It wasn't like I knew him any better than the others, really. But, when I got older I knew exactly what it was. And now I'm drawn to Peter for the same reason. (Well, he's got a really cute butt too). I will have to be careful when I write to the baby not to skew the words to seem like I'm writing to a girl. I imagine I'm writing to a girl, and I have to remember I could be wrong about that. My poor teenage son won't want to be reading about pregnant bodily functions, I'm sure. I don't know if I already said this, but Pete and I both get a big strong girl vibe from this pregnancy. And I know it isn't just that we WANT a girl - because we truely have no preference. And last time, we both got big strong boy vibes. So, I know it has nothing to do with preference. I can't wait to see my friend Tracy, because I want to see what kind of a feeling she gets. She seems to have somewhat of a sixth sense about things - especially when it comes to me. I have deliberately not told her what we think, because I don't want to skew her results :) I haven't seen her since I found out. Which is really ridiculous, when you think about it, considering we live 20 minutes away from each other. Sometimes I think I see her almost as seldom as I see Vicki, Julie and Ben - who are all in Iowa. She's one of those people who's life is very busy, but she seems incapable of organizing it. I remember when I lived with her, she would try to make a list almost every day, and it would have, like 10 things on it, but she rarely would make it to 3. I think she's also happiest when her life is chaotic, so she may subconsciously facilitate it. She'd probably kick me for saying that, but I just call 'em how I see 'em. Sometimes it's hard for me, because I would like to see her more, but it's just never going to be that way, and I have to accept it. Maybe when I have the draw of a little baby on my side, she won't be able to stay away so easily. Pete thinks I 'popped' last night (that's what the books always call it). My belly was suddenly sticking out like never before. And I hadn't eaten a big dinner, or anything - which seems to cause that now. He was amazed. I'm really starting to look pregnant! I am definately pushing it on some of these pants I'm trying to wear. I always feel smaller in the morning - I guess just from a lack of food and water in my body - so I think I can get away with clothes that I really shouldn't be. Because usually by evening I'm much rounder. And sitting at my computer doesn't help the comfort level around my middle any. On Friday, this woman at work offered me some of her maternity clothes and I gratefully accepted. But, when I went through the ones I already have on Sunday and realized I have quite a few, I decided I don't have room for any more (unless I want to pack up my entire closet, which I don't). Well, I sent her an e-mail on Monday letting her know this, and she never replied. So, I feel like I may have offended her. Her first comment when she offered them to me was that they weren't the most stylish clothes in the world, she went for cheap. And I have kind of a reputation around the agency for being the 'fashion-plate' - so I hope she doesn't think I refused because I think she has no style. To be truthful, I don't really remember any of the maternity clothes she wore. I suppose that means they were pretty basic - which can be fine. If she had worn anything hideous, I'm sure I would've remembered it. Ciao-Pazzobello
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