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Tuesday, Nov. 12, 2002 "Dear Pazzobello, It is me again, probably your youngest reader. Right now I am in my college english class working on a term paper on how people affect who we are. One of the people groups is the unborn and how we change ourselves in anticipatation for their arrival. I was wondering if you could say something about this, how being pregnant and looking forward to your child's arrival has changed you and your husband. I need one more source and you would be a perfect one. Well, thanks for your time! Kalene" Hi Kalene: I'd love to give you another source for your paper. It's easy to talk about since it's pretty much all I think about right now. The anticipation of this baby has been like nothing else I've ever experienced. I'm excited, scared, elated and nervous all at the same time. I notice every pregnant woman and baby I see. I never used to do that. I've never been one of those people who fawns over babies all the time and has to hold them. But, now I want as much practice as I can get! It's made me re-evaluate my purpose in life. Do I really want to be a career woman and work in advertising the rest of my life? I mean, what does advertising really do for humankind? I want to be a better person, to set a good example for my offspring. Right now, even before I'm holding her in my arms, I already feel like I will be unable to leave her for even a minute, must less 40 hours a week - to go do a meaningless job that doesn't fullfill my life in many ways. My religion - or rather, the lack thereof - has creeped into my mind as a bit of a concern. I feel that I am a spiritual person, and so is Pete - and we try to be good people, and live moral lives. But will we be able to convey that message and belief to our child through our actions alone, without an organized religion in our daily lives? I think I've become more honest... with myself and with other people. I can't bare to hold anything in anymore. It's like I think the bad vibes from the harbored lies will wilt my growing baby or something. I'm re-examining my friendships and my family. Family is becoming more and more important to me. Friends need to be worthy. If they haven't shown enough loyalty or I feel that they've only taken from me, I'm considering whether I need them in my life. The craziest thing of all, is that in my 20's I considered for many years not having children at all. I wasn't sure if I was right for it. I didn't enjoy other people's children very much. I didn't do much babysitting when I was younger. I have always led kind of a calm existence, and the chaos of having children around just didn't seem to suit me. Plus, I guess I had never met a man that I wanted to pro-create with. Being so in love with my husband, and really liking the person that he is has changed all that. I have faith in our ability to raise a child in this crazy world, somehow. Sometimes I just get so excited thinking about her being here. I can hardly wait. 9 months seems like a really long time to wait. But, I know we'll have the rest of our lives with her, and I just can't wait to meet her. Ciao-Pazzobello
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